as i strive to be a better person in the world, i am also learning to accept, be kinder and not to be so critical of myself when i make mistakes.. or i do things that may not be so happy with myself.

one thing i do, is that i am extremely hard on my mom and i truly am not happy that i am.because i want to love and accept her just the way that she is. i'm hard on her though because i want the best for her and sometimes i don't feel as though she takes the best actions for herself. so i am hard on her -- and then it eats me alive.

so many people have asked me to start writing again and I believe it is about time, I do. I have a number of start ups ("Limitless warrior", "AMG photographs", as well as this one "a different kind of love") that I began but they all came down to the same thing. I was looking for a way to express myself, whether it was verbally in writing or through the arts.

A different kind of love is about loving ourselves first. We can't expect to healthy love others if we don't take care of ourselves first. Now, I know that this may come off selfish but the thing is, my entire life, I have constantly put others needs in front of my own and something just was not working anymore. I have been lied to, taken advantaged of or hurt by too many people. And yes, it's no one else's fault but my own and that is just how life works sometimes.

I get it though, yes, while when I was younger, I was a bit naive. Yet, as I am older I tend to understand a little bit more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a people lover. I love people. I love helping people. I love making people happy. But there's a fine line for when you love to help others to being a "person pleaser" and just not knowing when to say no.

This is when it is safe to say, Love yourself first. Know yourself first. So you can understand others. That is what is wrong with the world today. Not enough kids are being taught to learn who they are as individuals, to accept themselves so that they can fully understand the external world and accept the external world. We have too many individuals being guided by forces and far too many individuals are lost not knowing which way to go.

Let's start with ourselves. Let's start by understanding who we are. By loving ourselves ourselves first, only then, we can truly understand how to learn and love others. By loving people who are toxic or unhealthy takes away from ourselves, we need to learn how to draw the line and start to respect ourselves.